From Epilogue to the Satires

Virtue may choose the high or low degree, 'Tis just alike to Virtue, and to me Dwell in a monk, or light upon a king, She's still the same, beloved, contented thing. Vice is undone, if she forgets her birth, And stoops from angels to the dregs of earth But 'tis the fall degrades her to a whore Let Greatness own her, and she's mean no more Her birth, her beauty, crowds and courts confess, Chaste matrons praise her, and grave bishops bless In golden chains the willing world she draws, And hers...

The Disabled Debauchee

As some brave admiral, in former war Deprived of force, but pressed with courage still, Two rival fleets appearing from afar, Crawls to the top of an adjacent hill From whence, with thoughts full of concern, he views The wise and daring conduct of the fight, Whilst each bold action to his mind renews His present glory and his past delight From his fierce eyes flashes of fire he throws, As from black clouds when lightning breaks away Transported, thinks himself amidst the foes, And absent, yet...

The Apple Dumplings and a King

Once on a time, a Monarch, tired with whooping, Whipping and spurring, Happy in worrying A poor, defenceless, harmless buck (The horse and rider wet as muck), From his high confidence and wisdom stooping, Entered, through curiosity, a cot Where sat a poor Old Woman and her pot. The wrinkled, blear-eyed, good old granny, In this same cot, illumed by many a cranny, Had finished apple dumplings for her pot. In tempting row the naked dumplings lay, When, lo the Monarch, in his usual way, Like...

Edward Young 16831765

From Love of Fame, The Universal Passion (i) The love of praise, howe'er concealed by art, Reigns, more or less, and glows, in ev'ry heart The proud, to gain it, toils on toils endure The modest shun it, but to make it sure. O'er globes, and sceptres, now on thrones it swells, Now, trims the midnight lamp in college cells. 'Tis Tory, Whig it plots, prays, preaches, pleads, Harangues in senates, squeaks in masquerades Here, to Swift's humour makes a bold pretence, There, bolder, aims at...

From The Vanity of Human Wishes The Tenth Satire of Juvenal Imitated

Unnumbered suppliants crowd preferment's gate, Athirst for wealth, and burning to be great Delusive fortune hears th' incessant call, They mount, they shine, evaporate, and fall. On ev'ry stage the foes of peace attend, Hate dogs their flight, and insult mocks their end. Love ends with hope, the sinking statesman's door Pours in the morning worshipper no more For growing names the weekly scribbler lies, To growing wealth the dedicator flies, From every room descends the painted face, That hung...

Thomas Moore 17791852

Sir Hudson Lowe, Sir Hudson Low, (By name, and ah by nature so) As thou art fond of persecutions, Perhaps thou'st read, or heard repeated, How Captain Gulliver was treated, When thrown among the Lilliputians. They tied him down these little men did And having valiantly ascended Upon the Mighty Man's protuberance, They did so strut upon my soul, It must have been extremely droll To see their pigmy pride's exuberance And how the doughty mannikins Amused themselves with sticking pins, And needles...

From Epistle to Richard Boyle Earl of Burlington

At Timon's villa let us pass a day, Where all cry out, 'What sums are thrown away ' So proud, so grand, of that stupendous air, Soft and Agreeable come never there. Greatness, with Timon, dwells in such a draught As brings all Brobdignag before your thought. To compass this, his building is a town, His pond an ocean, his parterre a down Who must but laugh, the Master when he sees, A puny insect, shiv'ring at a breeze Lo, what huge heaps of littleness around The whole, a laboured quarry above...

Plain Dealings Downfall

Long time Plain Dealing in the haughty town Wand'ring about, though in threadbare gown, At last unanimously was cried down. When almost starved, she to the country fled, In hopes, though meanly she should there be fed, And tumble nightly on a pea-straw bed. But Knav'ry knowing her intent, took post, And rumoured her approach through every coast, Vowing his ruin that should be her host. Frighted at this, each rustic shut his door, Bid her be gone, and trouble him no more, For he that entertained...

The Little Vagabond

Dear mother, dear mother, the church is cold, But the alehouse is healthy and pleasant and warm Besides I can tell where I am used well, Such usage in heaven will never do well. But if at the church they would give us some ale, And a pleasant fire our souls to regale, We'd sing and we'd pray all the livelong day, Nor ever once wish from the church to stray. Then the parson might preach, and drink, and sing, And we'd be as happy as birds in the spring And modest Dame Lurch, who is always at...

Mac Flecknoe or A Satire upon the True Blue Protestant Poet TS

All human things are subject to decay, And when fate summons, monarchs must obey This Flecknoe found, who, like Augustus, young Was called to empire, and had governed long In prose and verse, was owned, without dispute, Through all the realms of Nonsense, absolute. This aged prince now flourishing in peace, And blest with issue of a large increase, Absalom Duke of Monmouth Achitophel Lord Shaftesbury Worn out with business, did at length debate To settle the succession of the State And...

From The Second Part of Absalom and Achitophel

Doeg and Og, the Poets Settle and Shadwell To make quick way I'll leap o'er heavy blocks, Shun rotten Uzza as I would the pox And hasten Og and Doeg to rehearse, Two fools that crutch their feeble sense on verse Who by my Muse, to all succeeding times Shall live in spite of their own dogg'rel rhymes. Doeg, though without knowing how or why, Made still a blund'ring kind of melody Spurred boldly on, and dashed through thick and thin, Through sense and nonsense, never out nor in Free from all...

From Virgidemiae

Who doubts The laws fell down from heaven's height Like to some gliding star in winter's night. Themis the scribe of God did long agone Engrave them deep in during marble-stone, And cast them down on this unruly clay, That men might know to rule and to obey. But now their characters depraved bin, By them that would make gain of others' sin. And now hath wrong so maistered the right That they live best that on wrong's offal light. So loathly fly that lives on galled wound, And scabby festers...

Coward Knight ran away shamefully with an Hundred Thousand Tratling Scots and Fainthearted Frenchmen beside the Water

O ye wretched Scots, Ye puant pisspots, It shall be your lots To be knit up with knots Of halters and ropes About your traitors' throats. O Scots perjured, Unhaply ured, Ye may be assured Your falsehood discured It is and shall be, from the Scottish sea Unto Gabione, For ye be false each one, False and false again, Never true nor plain, But fleery, flatter and feign, And ever to remain In wretched beggary And maungy misery, In lousy loathsomeness And scabbed scorfiness, And in abomination Of...